Tag Archives: Swear

God And Lotto

They don’t believe in God but they do believe in lotto.

Don’t ask me, I don’t know.

I sword I’d buy one lotto ticket a year, not more.

Which God do you adore?

Tich Ennis

Monday, 5th August, 2019

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Important

I am not any more important than anyone else, this I confidently state.

If you are looking for someone more important than me you will have to wait.

I am very sorry I can’t award you a medal or a cup.

Since when were you important, if you think you are shut up.

In all humility I must add I have been diagnosed as mad.

You may know a kinder word, what’s in a name, don’t be absurd.

I am quite friendly when you know me, my best friends agree.

Liars are my mortal enemy.

I can be cantankerous and sometimes I swear.

How else would people know I’m there?

Tich Ennis

9th July, 2019

Secret Agent

I am God’s secret agent, no one knows I’m here.

For relaxation I drink beer.

I smoke, that’s part of my cover.

Apparently saints don’t, how will the enemy discover?

I also swear, using bad language in everyday life.

That’s good cover, it would scandalise a wife.

I plant a truth bomb from time to time.

No one notices my crime.

Except a faithful few.

Including you?

The membership of my mob is slowly growing.

In Summer it is not snowing.

That’s the sort of thing I say all day.

Self evident really, I get no pay.

Tich Ennis

14th May, 2019

Christ Talks

Passerby: Hi Christ. Someone said you are the son of God. What are you doing here?

Christ: I’m flogging bibles.

Passerby: They haven’t been written yet. Aren’t you being a bit premature?

Christ: A bit previous. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

Passerby: I’ll put my name down for one.

Christ: Sign here. A first edition is a good investment. You could flog it at Sotheby’s.

Passerby: If I’m around that long. Is it readable?

Christ: It took ten years to write and would probably take the same amount of time to read.

Passerby: That’s very funny.

Christ: Not if you wrote the book.

Passerby: It will give people something to swear on and at and throw at people, anyway.

Christ: A best seller.

Passerby: And I thought you were just a waste of space.

Christ: Wait for the Hollywood epic.

Passerby: You’ve seen the film, now read the book.

Christ: Dance to the musical.

Passerby: You are a man before your time.

Christ: A man out of time.

Passerby: Whatever that means.

Christ: Gutenberg, thou should’st be living at this hour.

Passerby: I’ll wait for the audio version.

Christ: That’s me. Born before TV.

Passerby: If you had an air to that you could sing it.

Christ: I’ll be on my way.

Passerby: Mine too.

Christ: It’s a rocky road.

Passerby: You can say that again.

Christ: And again and again and again.

Passerby: Where does this road lead?

Christ: Where indeed.

Passerby: You’re a bit of a poet.

Christ: Don’t I know it.

Passerby: Sayonara, Japanese for goodbye.

Christ: Au revoir, until we meet again.

(Both figures depart. The End.)

Tich Ennis

26th July, 2018