God keeps kicking me in the balls. That’s how I know there is a God. I said that to someone, he laughed. How does God kick me in the balls? Things don’t work out as planned, promises made are broken, words are not spoken. Alright, I have other reasons for believing in God which I won’t go into here. Life? I will go on until the bitter end. Possibly it won’t be bitter, it hasn’t happened yet. Hence these words. I am alive, very much so.
My ambition is to write like an angel, never writing or speaking or doing anything that would harm a child in any respect. That ambition is unrealised but not unrealisable. The very first words here prove my ambition is not yet realised, achieved. May I apologise to all the children in the world, read Winnie The Pooh, which was read to me as an innocent child. I and innocence are long since separated although I am approaching or may have already arrived at my second childhood.
In all innocence may I say I have nothing to say. With some exceptions. How may I regain my innocence in this vale of tears? Its not for want of trying. If I could prove to you there is a God, as real as my sense of humour, as large as life and twice as natural, beyond the shadow of a doubt, God being truth, much ignored and treated as non-existent, a thing of nothing, and what’s more, an entity, then what?
Unfortunately as an imperfect human being I cannot prove the existence of perfection but, as I said, I will die trying. Not yet. Possibly with my last gasp I will reveal the truth. Wait and see. And hear. I’m sorry to keep you waiting. Patience. It’s a virtue. Virtue is in short supply. If you have to ask you can’t afford it. Is life a price worth paying? There’s nothing else worth having. This has become a bit rambly.
I am made of my past, sins and all. Of omission and commission. Looking forward to the future. What else is there to look forward to? I have not achieved perfection. Join the club. When I achieve perfection I will write the perfect piece of writing, perfection will have arrived. Await the day. I hope neither you nor I must wait much longer.
How long is a piece of string? It depends where you cut it. If you get there first let me know.
Thursday, 23rd July, 2020