Tag Archives: Ireland

My Fellow Citizens

My Fellow Citizens

(To Sylvester Bourke, Pat Hoey, Pier Leonard and Chantel Kangowa, my preferred candidates in Arklow local elections. As of now. Please circulate widely.)

         I fully intend to vote for one or more of you in the forthcoming election or elections. Why? I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt. Whose doubt? Mine. You have yet to prove yourselves in this great façade we call life, or something like that.

As far as I know, but who am I to say, you are reasonable facsimiles of human beings. Robots can be very realistic and getting more so all the time. Once I vote for you, if I vote for you, that’s it. I’ve burned my boats. I’m stuck with you until the next election, if you get elected.

Speaking as a semi-lunatic, driven mad or half mad by circumstances beyond my control, but that’s life, isn’t it, yes, as I said before, I strongly intend to vote, if I get around to it, which I expect I will. But don’t count on my vote, let the counting officer do that.

My point is I will have to put up with you for 4 years if you get elected but you will ignore me completely. That may be mutual. I have better things to be doing than thinking about politics all the time.

People like me are the electorate, for better or worse, and require representation. How can you be one of us and not one of us at the same time? Can you square that circle?

This may be a joke but someone said all politicians should be taken out periodically and shot. That’s fairly funny if you’re not a politician. There is still hope. You may not be elected.

To quote Samuel Beckett, everything is futile, it would be better never to have been born. He also said try again, fail again, try again, fail better.

He was more or less a comedian, not to be taken too seriously.

I too am Irish. So what? If I was born somewhere else I would be something else. And equally ashamed or proud, or probably both at once.

All good things come to an end, including life itself, good or otherwise. So you are going to make my life better. Says who? I didn’t make much of a job of it myself. I can’t really blame you. Not yet, anyway.

The torch was passed to another generation and they lit a marijuana cigarette with it. Fine words butter no parsnips. But they’re better than nothing.

To quote Dean Swift, and why not, in his self-written obituary:

He left the little wealth he had

to build a house for fools and mad,

and showed by this satiric touch,

no nation needed it so much.

 

End of quote.

What is your price? Will you fulfil my requirements? Do you endeavour to give satisfaction? Or do you just want to get elected?

I will sign my vote in blood. That sounds good, doesn’t it? Not mine, I hope.

A cynic is a person who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing – Oscar Wilde.

I know the price of a pint of Guinness, four sixty in my favourite hostelry, less in some places, more in others.

Have you read Less is More? Or Small is Beautiful? Neither have I. I recommend them to other people. Not written by Irish people, but we can’t all be Irish.

What’s wrong with Ireland that you want to make it better? A patriot is a person who says a country is the best in the world because he was born in it – G. B. Shaw (also Irish).

Karl Marx said something else but he wasn’t Irish. He once said smokers of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your chain smoking. Or something very like it.

So, okay, if you get elected we won’t have to put up with each other for four years. I look forward to that. An amicable divorce. We all make mistakes.

Any of you could turn out to be another Hitler, Pol Pot or Shane Ross. God help us all. At least you’re not Nigel Farrage, not so far, anyway.

Are you good at soundbites? Do you tweet often? What have you learned from Donald Trump?

Okay, that’s it, fateful Friday approaches, the day of reckoning, when the sheep are sorted from the goats, the men from the boys, the girls from the women, the good things from the bad things. I’ll see you in Heaven, Hell, Purgatory or Nirvana, whatever you’re having yourself. Destiny awaits. Many stirring words have been spoken, I am stir crazy hearing them.

Ok, I’ll vote for you, something is better than nothing. Or so they say. That’s for me to know and you to find out. Take it on the chin. Roll with the punches. Let Katy Taylor be your role model.

Arklow forever! Or the time being, anyway. Sorry for taking up so much of your time and mine.

Still, you could be in jail. Cheer up!

P.S.

I asked a woman was she a politician, she said she hasn’t sold her soul. A man I repeated that to said politicians have no soul. He used the eff word.

Anglo Saxon is a gift bestowed on us by the English on their departure. We are fluent speakers.

d

Tich Ennis

22nd May, 2019

 

Robot

A robot could do my job, sitting in a chair.

Sometimes they crash in mid air.

If you want to save the world from plastic, use a pencil, I do.

Why not you?

It’s a small thing you can do.

Fish can’t chew.

I don’t want to be replaced by a machine.

You know what I mean.

I like Ireland green.

A sight unseen.

I got a bit poetic there.

Do you care?

Clean air.

No, I’m not a robot, are you?

Me too.

Tich Ennis

18th May, 2019

Cartel

I am a one man cartel.

I do not sell.

I am not responsible for sunshine.

That is not mine.

Nor rain, nor snow.

Which are essential, you know.

I did not make Ireland green.

Nor pornography obscene.

Just what am I responsible for, you may ask?

Wait ‘til I fulfil my task.

Then I may say, don’t ask.

If its all the same to you I have other things to do.

Here’s looking at you.

Tich Ennis

15th May, 2019

The World

The world is getting madder by the minute and I’m in it.

My best friend is dead, I talk to you instead.

How to drive the world sane, by bus or plane?

Madness is obviously catching, I caught it a bit there just now.

Is there a psychiatrist in the house anyhow?

Just what is driving the world mad, can we not stand each other?

How dare you think differently from me even if you are my brother?

What is a madman’s ultimate cure?

Mutual annihilation to be sure.

That cure is worse than the disease.

DDT kills not only fleas.

If you want to be mad, go ahead.

In the long run we’re all dead.

The long run could be sooner than we think.

Some turn to drink.

Friendliness and cooperation seem to me better than war.

I think, that’s what I think my brain is for.

Ok, there may not be war, we just live at daggers drawn.

In mutual hostility before the dawn.

One thing, I am Irish and when everyone else goes madder it makes Ireland appear relatively sane.

Should I complain?

Tich Ennis

23rd April, 2019

Investigation

Should the guards investigate the guards, it seems strange to me.

As we say in Ireland, the Gardai.

They use their investigative skills when somebody kills.

Which, unfortunately, they do, did you?

Are there some things they don’t want to know?

As on their Inspector Plod way they go.

Should they read Shakespeare, about man dressed in a little brief authority?

It seems a good line to me.

In my brief brushes with the law some were good and some were not.

I don’t blame the lot.

That’s rot.

However, they have room for improvement.

Some show almost no sign of movement.

Tich Ennis

15th March, 2019

Submersion

The island of Ireland may sink beneath the waves submerging our patriot graves.

Anything may or may not happen, the future is unpredictable.

That is uncontradictable.

Atlantis, did it ever exist?

Is it missed?

Some believe in flying saucers, sorcerers and Harry Potter.

That is as maybe, I am not responsible for the beliefs of others.

Until now we all had mothers.

In a possible future scientists will make babies and cure rabies.

Dream on baby, long live your dream.

Meanwhile politicians scheme.

Cheer up, it could be worse in an alternative universe.

The big bang could go into reverse.

The universe be compressed into the size of a tiny pea, including you and me.

Maybe then it will start again and get it right this time.

We have the future to look forward to, I hope for the sublime.

Some other time.

Tich Ennis

23rd February, 2019