Tag Archives: Humor

Ballbreaker

God keeps kicking me in the balls or is it the other fellow?

Have I a streak down my back of vivid yellow?

I never really expect anything much, I sure don’t get it.

I lay in bed as a child and wet it.

Now in later life I have no wife.

If I had how would she put up with me?

Patron saint of lost causes, rescue me.

Some few like what I do.

Do you?

A lonely soul struggling to be true.

I apologise for using a coarse word.

Its not the worst I ever heard.

That word is synonymous with bravery.

I’ll have a cup of tea.

Should I end here or say so many promises are broken?

I speak a truth unspoken.

Where is Hoboken?

I do my best all the time.

Am I guilty of a crime?

Kafka instructed that all his work be burned.

I am the worm who turned.

No, I don’t want my stuff to go up in smoke.

I don’t want my life to be a dirty joke.

Self-pity is despicable, I know that too.

I’ll get over it, will you?

Believe me I pity all of you.

I have more or less run out of tears in my advanced years.

Against all odds I have one more thing to say, to turn night into day.

This dope has hope.

Tich Ennis

10th December, 2017

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Prestige Project

This is my prestige project, I am what you see.

Are you another me?

To see means understand, I’ll let that pass.

I am trees, green grass.

It fails to pass my understanding why prestige projects exist.

I kissed a girl who never kissed.

You are on my list.

A monument to your own glory, hang the expense.

Does it make sense?

Your achievements speak for themselves, such as they are.

Who made a shooting star?

You are what you are.

I am ordinary, you are extraordinary.

Far be it from me to gild the lily.

This poem might become silly.

I am the Sun, the stars, the Earth, the flowers.

Holy hours.

I warned you this might happen, now you see.

Elvis sang now and then there’s a fool such as me.

And Hound Dog, Don’t Be Cruel, All Shook Up.

I love a simple flower, e.g. buttercup.

Now like a flower I shut up.

Tich Ennis

6th December, 2017

To Hell And Back

When I leave Hell and the Devil says goodbye, don’t cry.

Wipe the single tear from your eye.

I have mingled with the likes of you until I’m blue in the face.

Now I leave the land of big disgrace.

But why, I gave you a chance, girl at a dance, where is romance?

No, its not for me, I don’t want fantasy.

I took a fire extinguisher to Hell, oh well.

If you are pregnant or a serial killer or a mad dictator must I forgive you too?

Sometimes hard to do.

You expect a lot of me.

I do too, wait and see.

Will I live up to expectation?

I love relaxation.

If you forgive me I’ll forgive you, forget the past, forget our crimes.

I enjoy good times.

I changed my mind, I’ll stay in Hell another while.

Long enough to make the Devil smile.

Together he and I will walk an Irish mile.

Tich Ennis

3rd December, 2017

Jews

Why are Jews so hated?

Are they underrated?

Einstein, Freud, Marx, Jesus, each one was a Jew.

I am not, are you?

Also great composers and people in other fields, they’re not much good at sport, you can’t have it all.

Kicking a ball.

There are poor Jews too you dope, people like you make me lose hope.

Well, not quite.

I’m used to your shite.

Persecution is good for you said a friend, it forces you to achieve.

Ask a woman or a black then you might believe.

Be twice as good or three times to get promotion.

How many drops make up an ocean?

Or love potion.

I am unaware of any perfect person or race.

I am Irish, say that to my face.

Must people by their worst be defined?

Killers everywhere, never mind.

Evil, yes, serial killers, torturers, corrupt governments, of these I’m well aware.

Fuck your reasons, I don’t care.

The problem is you don’t, for humanity.

There’s none so blind as those who don’t want to see.

If I say a word or two for a Jew does that mean I don’t like you?

Don’t be stupid, I mean you too.

What’s a guy to do?

With people like you.

I said fuck, I could say damn.

I speak your language, what a fool I am.

Does loving yourself mean hating others?

Not to me, sisters and brothers.

I am Irish, I could talk all day.

As a boy I knelt to pray.

I have not gone away.

Lesson over for today.

For Jew read anyone.

Even me, my mother’s son.

Maybe in future I won’t say fuck.

With any luck.

Tich Ennis

2nd December, 2017

Honey

Stands the clock at half past three and is there coffee still for tea?

Who wrote that, me.

Strongly influenced by Rupert Brooke who’s poem is worth a second look.

He died in the first world war possibly in the trenches.

When alive he may have sat on village benches.

Everyone loved his poem he said he wrote it in five minutes flat.

That’s that.

I suppose I’m less serious than him.

The boy in Treasure Island is called Jim.

Robert Louis Stevenson wrote that and many others you have heard of but may not know he wrote.

Frank Sinatra was called old golden throat.

I sailed on the mailboat.

I name some famous names here.

They come and go and disappear.

Life is not homosexual but queer.

I’m still here.

Tich Ennis

30th November, 2017

Midnight Hour

At the end of the day it’s the midnight hour, that’s self evidently true.

I’d believe it if I were you.

Twelve midnight, not half past two.

Truism is a word you may not have heard.

It means self evidently true, not false, absurd.

One and one makes two.

That’s an example, a free sample.

We’re born, we live, we die, all that stuff.

If you don’t like it, tough.

There’s no getting away from it, the truth is true.

Believe it or not its up to you.

To believe in the true.

I would if I were you.

I do.

Tich Ennis

30th November, 2017

 

Explaining Stupidity

I will now explain stupidity to those who have no brain.

There are none of those, the emperor wore no clothes.

A child could see and see it all.

Yet others chose blindness turning their faces to the wall.

Use your brain you dope you lazy thing.

See through the emperor or king.

Stupidity is not using your brain, you have it, use it.

It is really there, you didn’t lose it.

Is it true you’d rather die than think?

If so that’s why you’re stupid, my pen runs out of ink.

Tich Ennis

29th November, 2017