Resignation

I’ve had it up to here with teenage Messiahs.   Teenagers are at the mercy of their hormones, I was one myself, I should know.  Acne, girls, waxing and waning enthusiasms, all the rest.  Not to speak of being at the grunt stage.

Anyway, my brother has met another such who said he could help me with computerisation.  Where did I hear that before?   I have his name, David, a memorable name, a name he shares with me.  I have his phone number, but have not rung him. He is a school student but says he does not need to study, he knows it all.  My brother says he is bright, how would he know?

This boy David says he could help to get my poetry sold on the internet, but could he?  Do I want to do that?  He said he would look at my internet stuff when he goes home, that was last night, but did he?  He lives in Avoca, about ten miles away, we have no car.  My brother said this David could come here for about three or four hours and do a lot for me and with me.  Would he want to do what he wants to do or what I want to do?   He may be a nice guy, but how nice is nice?  I may ring him, but I don’t hold out much hope.  I have been let down before.

My brother says this David is like Stephen the twenty-one-year-old film maker who made my film, The Gong Man, who was excellent, but is my brother a good judge of character?   I am a great believer in the saying that if you want a thing done right, do it yourself.  Difficult when you don’t know how.

Would I be a good influence on this kid?  Would he be a good influence on me?  Has he changed his mind already?  Is he preternaturally mature?  Out of the mouth of babes.  Shall wisdom emerge?  If I ring will I be a sadder but a wiser man? Could I be wiser?  When will I wise up?   Put not your faith in man, but what about teenage boys?  The world is his oyster. Is he a pearl fisherman?  Or juvenile delinquent?  How much time have I to waste finding out?

Is he painstaking, methodical?  Could he be the next Steve Jobs?  The old one is dead, we need a replacement.  Is he capable of following instructions?  I’m not very good at it myself, even at my advanced years.  Is he a good listener?  Is he a good learner?  Is he better than me, an improved version?  Is evolution continuing or going backwards?

I want to do what I want to do and I want things done my way, but am open to suggestion.  Is this boy of a calm, ruminative, philosophical disposition or is he a ball of fire who might set the house on fire?  Will my last state be worse than my first if I let him near the keys of the kingdom of Heaven?  Will he lock the door and lose the key? Is reliability his middle name?  Is he perfect?  Or will he do to be going on with if he goes on at all?

If I feel like it I’ll ring him up after school.  His school, not mine.  He could be more kid than whiz, like the last one.  I’ll mark his report card.  I remain to be disillusioned.  I expect nothing.  Sometimes I am surprised.

If surprises happened frequently they would cease to be surprising, and would become the norm.  Not all oysters contain a pearl.  Some do.  Most don’t.

Who would be a fisherman?  South Sea Islanders, that’s who.  Well, I was a fisherman. I’ll give it another go.

David shall talk unto David.

Tich (David) Ennis

16th May, 2016

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