Play: Scene: Anywhere. Present: Muse and others
Me: Lawyers charge for their opinion. Other people give you theirs for nothing.
He: That’s all its worth.
Muse: I refuse to impose meaning. Figure it out.
Artist: When you make a one off you have to learn how to do a whole lot of new things and you never have to do them again.
Builder: (Groaning) Oh, yes.
Young Man: Children go through the gamut of emotions in a day.
Mother: In an hour.
Teenager: Will you look at the hour and not a child in the house washed.
Me: Where did you hear that?
Teenager: I heard someone say it.
Mother: Where did you go?
Mother: What did you do?
Muse: I wandered lonely as a cloud.
Poet: It’s been said.
Patient: The profession with the highest number of suicides is the psychiatric profession.
Shakespeare: Physician, heal thyself.
Gus: I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
Sam Goldwyn: Anyone nutty enough to see a psychoanalyst needs their head examined.
R. D. Laing: Madness is the only sane response to living in an insane world.
Me: I disagree.
R. D. Laing: With what part of my statement do you disagree?
Me: I agree the world is insane. I do not agree insanity is a sane response.
R. D. Laing: With what other statement do you disagree?
Me: If you can’t beat them join them.
R. D. Laing: Have you a problem?
Me: I think I’m a dog.
R. D. Laing: Lie down on the couch.
Me: I’m not allowed up on the couch.
R. D. Laing: Have you any other problem?
Me: I think I’m a spoon.
R. D. Laing: Sit down there and don’t stir.
Freud: Jokes fulfil a valuable function. I faked my results. Psychoanalysis never cured anyone.
Teenager: What’s a psychiatrist?
Me: They’re people who want you to talk about your past to tell you what’s wrong with you when there’s nothing wrong with you at all.
Teenager: We had people like that in our school. I told them to eff off.
Physicist: You were right.
(Author’s note: true).
Eugene O’Neill: Drink is a good man’s failing.
Viking: Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die.
He: You’re full of smartass one liners.
Me: I quote extensively. Sometimes incorrectly. Don’t shoot me, I’m only the messenger.
He: You have a varied repertoire.
Me: Variety is the spice of life.
He: There you go again. You’re like a motto calendar.
Me: You can find good stuff there. You can find good stuff anywhere.
He: Quote one.
Me: I believe what you do, not what you say.
He: Is that an exact quotation?
Me: No. It’s the meaning that counts, not the exact words.
He: Pedants would disagree.
Me: Who likes a pedant? Pedants are like bureaucrats. Bureaucrats are people who think rules are more important than people.
He: Is that a quotation?
Me: Yes. And no less true for that.
Shakespeare: Man dressed in a little brief authority performs such stunts as make the angels weep.
He: Is that a quotation?
Me: Yes, but probably not a hundred per cent accurate in words, only in meaning.
He: You’re a big man for meaning.
Me: Its what its all about. People mean something, words mean something. Believing otherwise results in war and chaos.
He: What is belief?
Me: Belief is proved by action. I believe what you do, not what you say.
He: Are there any exceptions?
Me: A true person. Their words and deeds harmonise, as in a song. They mean the same thing.
He: You are poetic.
Me: Some things are best said in a poem. But not always.
He: Can I go now?
30th April, 2016