There have been long periods of boredom in my life.  Less so now that I am old.  Each of these could be described as a hiatus, a gap in a series.  Many words are misunderstood, random, for instance has been mistaken as meaning an exact occurrence in time and space, rather than the opposite.

I write at random, whenever the spirit moves me, as to what and how and when.  As now.  I am expecting a friend in eleven minutes time.  It is possible to buy a cigarette case with a timing device such that it may only be opened at set intervals, such as ten minutes or half an hour.  Why would anyone want this?  This puzzled me for years until in a flash of illumination it became blindingly obvious.  They’re for people who want to give up smoking, but lack will power.  I was a non smoker.  I have been known to give up drink.  I gave up giving up.  You don’t live longer if you give up smoking and drinking, it just feels like that.

Anyway, my friend called and went.  Personal remarks were exchanged.  We parted on good terms, he promised to call again.  He better, he borrowed a book.  A book of words. An instruction manual, not of the sex variety.  How to make a radio work.  A radio I have is on strike, I hear one station on it only.  I have two radios, one local, one non local.  The non local is not working.  My local is working, pulling pints to beat the band when I’m present.

I am not a saint.  Not yet.  Anyway, boredom, ennui, angst.  How many words in English are descended from German?  Wednesday for one.  Day in German is dag. House is haus.  Sure you nearly know German already.  Hausfrau, everyman should have one.  Someone has to wash the dishes.  Did I say a woman?  Can women be replaced by machines?  They’re working on it.  Artificial intelligence means computers are getting like people.  Its people getting like computers I’m worried about.  So said a friend, now dead and gone.  John McCarthy.

John McCarthy drove the wrong way around a roundabout in Wales with a woman in his car.   She started panicking.  John said its illegal to reverse on a roundabout so he kept going.  A car came towards him.   They stopped.   John got out of his car and approached the other driver.   I’m Irish, he said.   That figures, the other man said. They parted on good terms and exchanged Christmas cards for a year or so.

When John was in London he went to see ten Downing street.   He was a little under the weather.  A female police person asked him to move back.  Oh, a lady policeman said John. She was not amused.   John was a pleasant companion.  He said a difficult question is one you don’t know the answer to.  He was in London during the blitz but the family moved to Wales when they returned from the pictures to find their house bomb damaged and another house obliterated.  He liked Wales.  So did I.

But this is enough of a hiatus.  Now real life begins again.  Oh, no!  My radio may yet work. It works, I don’t.  I need all the help I can get.  End of hiatus.  Pardon me for being abrupt.

If you have more than one hiatus, a series of them, in fact, what do you call that? What is the plural of hiatus?  And mongoose?  Why is sheep singular and plural?

Does logic make sense?

Tich Ennis

28th April, 2016