Character Sketch

You raise your voice when others speak. You lower it when they stop. You love the sound of your own voice. Others don’t.

You put a person down if they speak. You speak rudely on the grounds that they are not as rude as you and won’t answer back. You are right. They are not as rude as you.

A bore tells unnecessary details. You are full of them. Once, a stranger asked you how come you know so many trivial things? You got annoyed. You said they are not trivial.

You disagree with people. You are disagreeable.

Some might describe you as an obnoxious bore. And crude. Leaving the hotel late one night you urinated in a flowerbed, possibly for my benefit. Thank you very much.

You park in no parking areas. Your car would suit a younger man. You are a show-off.

Is it obnoxious of me to describe you as obnoxious? I describe your behaviour, not you. You are responsible for your behaviour. It is your choice, not mine.

When people see you coming they say oh no, here he comes again. Do you enjoy annoying people? Probably yes, else why do it?

Is this you? If so, why? You certainly are full of yourself. Americans have another way of putting that.

Life is a humbling experience. Perhaps you haven’t lived long enough.

If the cap fits, wear it.

If I have offended you, join the club. You are offensive.

Thankfully, you are not here as I write. Peace reigns supreme. Not when you are around.

Goodbye. I am tempted to add get lost, drop dead, but then I would be like you. One of you is too much.

You lack charm, you will be glad to hear. How would you like to meet someone like yourself? Then you might speak as I do to you here.

Oh wad such power the giftie gie us, to see ourselves as other see us, said Robbie Burns. Know thyself, said the ancient Greek oracle.

I hope you find my remarks helpful in this regard.

With best wishes from the man in the bar.

I have a pint to drink, hopefully peacefully. You are not here. Enjoy your beer.

Swallow your words and these. I hope they do you good.

 Tich Ennis

5th June, 2015