Now at last I do or die.
Or at least try.
I cannot pay one who knows, I can’t afford new clothes.
No money, don’t you understand?
I don’t, things are not grand.
I myself must find out how, that’s the best way.
I may ring one last friend, today.
Writing this is postponement, I must make atonement.
For what I am not sure, maybe a lazy mind.
I am not the thinking kind.
Some things come easily to me.
Not everything, you see.
My best friend believed in me.
So I will try, and hopefully achieve.
I must myself believe.
Others have done it, so can I.
I tell myself that is no lie.
It will happen if I try.
I have no other choice, its up to me.
I will do it, wait and see.
15th January, 2018