Category Archives: Politics

Axe

Everyone has an axe to grind.

When I say everyone I mean nearly everyone, do you mind?

Take the media, for example.

Look at a cross sample.

Video, print, whatever.

Are they objective never?

Hardly ever.

Similarly in politics and people supporting football teams.

Fairness? Honesty? In your dreams.

My country right or wrong is an old song.

As some black guy said, why can’t we get along?

His name was Rodney King if memory serves me right.

The white police were spoiling for a fight.

Goodnight.

Who knows wrong from right?

We have wars, dislike and hate because we choose.

That is the news.

No wonder black men sang the blues.

You would in their shoes.

In wars we lose.

How many dead and wounded on both sides?

As fish in the sea in waves and tides.

Pick up the pieces after, son or daughter, from the slaughter.

A child knows peace is best.

Harmony, music, a friend and the rest.

Out of the mouths of babes came forth the truth.

Must young men die in youth?

I say no.

And so I go.

Tich Ennis

18th June, 2017

They

They don’t really want the truth, they just want point scoring.

That’s why people don’t like politics, that’s why they’re ignoring.

Should I say snoring?

Stop being boring

Tich Ennis

17th June, 2017

Theresa May

Theresa May is up a gumtree, she made a mess.

As she is first to confess.

Do you like her dress?

She is a power walker, power strutter, is she a nutter?

She appears to lack empathy, if you know that word.

Are grammar schools absurd?

So I’ve heard.

So said Jones minor of the lower third.

Well I suppose she learned a lesson.

We’ve heard her confession.

Margaret Thatcher did not have advisors, she made up her own mind.

Theresa is not that kind.

Tich Ennis

17th June, 2017

Rules Are For Fools

An indirect acquaintance of mine was in the U.N. army in Bosnia during the war.

That’s what the U.N. is for.

He and his comrades stood idly by while seven thousand men and boys were marched off to die.

I mean, be shot.

You probably heard of it, you hear a lot.

He said he felt awful, but what could he do?

I ask you.

The bloody bloodstained U.N. rules allowed them to do nothing, the fools.

If your house was on fire would you go on watching television? Oh well.

Welcome to Hell.

Rules are for normal circumstances not abnormal ones.

God preserve us from people with guns.

A man in Dublin would not leave a restaurant on fire because he paid for his steak.

The firemen dragged him out or else we would be at his wake.

For Heaven’s sake.

Some Irish guy said we’re Irish, we don’t do rules.

Now and then maybe but not always, we’re not all fools.

In dictatorships everything not compulsory is illegal.

Do rules apply to a Golden Eagle?

Tich Ennis

16th June, 2017

Medical Consultation

Doctor: What’s your complaint?

Patient: I’m Irish.

Doctor: That’s incurable.

Patient: Is it catching?

Doctor: It depends what you do in your spare time.

Patient: The man who made time made plenty of it.

Doctor: What’s that supposed to mean?

Patient: What it says on the tin.

Doctor: Take off your clothes.

Patient: Why?

Doctor: I want to take a look at you.

Patient: Don’t look while I undress.

Doctor: Tell me when to look.

Patient (undressed): You can look now.

Doctor: It’s a boy!

Patient: It’s well knowing you went to medical school.

Doctor: You didn’t need to take off your underpants.

Patient: I don’t wear underpants.

Doctor: Why not?

Patient: What you don’t know won’t hurt you.

Doctor: Everything that passes between me and you is subject to medical confidentiality.

Patient: That’s a load of bull. What about the freedom of information act?

Doctor: We’ll let that pass. You may make full disclosure.

Patient: I am naked.

Doctor: So I see.

Patient: I take my clothes off when it rains.

Doctor: Why?

Patient: My skin is waterproof.

Doctor: What about sunshine?

Patient: You can have too much of a good thing.

Doctor: Well said. Would you like me to prescribe an antibiotic?

Patient: They don’t work because doctors prescribe too much of them.

Doctor: You have to feel you’re getting something for your money.

Patient: It isn’t all about feelings.

Doctor: It is.

Patient: I beg to differ.

Doctor: Doctors differ and patients die. What would you do if I told you you have six months to live?

Patient: I’d get a second opinion.

Doctor: You’re growing too fast for you height.

Patient: You stole that one. Call yourself a doctor!

Doctor: I am a doctor. See that certificate on the wall? Certified insane.

Patient: That’s not funny. I could be mad. Am I alright?

Doctor: Physically yes. Mentally I’m not sure.

Patient: Did Freud say its impossible to psychoanalyse an Irishman?

Doctor: That’s a myth but I can well believe it.

Patient: Can I dress now?

Doctor: Yes. I’ve had a good look.

Patient: There are seven orifices on the human body at the last count.

Doctor: Who’s the doctor around here? Did you go to medical school?

Patient: Don’t pull rank.

Doctor: You’ll feel better when you pay my fee.

Patient: I’m on a medical card.

Doctor: Then it doesn’t matter.

Patient: My symptoms disappear when I visit a doctor. Suddenly I’m well.

Doctor: It’s my bedside manner. I’m Irish too.

Patient: What!

Doctor: That doesn’t mean I’m no good, a quack, anymore than you are.

Patient: I never said I could cure anything.

Doctor: I guarantee nothing. Your satisfaction is my guarantee.

Patient: God knows I’ve heard some rubbish in my time. You should be a politician.

Doctor: I have medical ethics.

Patient: You’ve got it bad and that ain’t good. Is there no cure for my condition?

Doctor: You could emigrate or take a holiday.

Patient: In Ireland? What good would that do?

Doctor: A change is as good as a rest. The same only different.

Patient: You’ve done me a power of good.

Doctor: It’s all in the mind.

Patient: I don’t mind.

Doctor: Mind how you go now. Watch yourself crossing the road. I don’t want to be left picking up the pieces.

Patient: Would a rub of the relic do me any good?

Doctor: Whatever you think yourself.

Patient: Should I go to Las Vegas or Lourdes?

Doctor: I have patients waiting. I can’t sit here all day talking to the likes of you.

Patient: One for a man, two for a horse.

Doctor: Quack quack.

Patient: Will my story have a happy ending?

Doctor: This is it. Next please!

Patient: I’ll remember you in my will. I’m broke.

Doctor: That’s life. Get used to it. Come back if you get worse.

Patient: Kill or cure. What can’t be cured love must be endured love.

Doctor: If you attempt to sing I’ll call the police and have you ejected.

Patient: I can take a hint. (Leaves, closing door behind him).

Doctor: Thank God that’s over!

Omniscient all-seeing Author: And so say all of us.

Tich Ennis

7th June, 2017

 

 

From Outer Space

I look you in the face.

And myself, what a disgrace!

Is there any point in continuing to complain?

Are things as right as rain?

How may the old advise the young?

My song and yours are not yet sung.

Do you want to hear my last gasp?

Cleopatra did it with an asp.

Suicide is pointless, fate does it for you anyway.

All things come to he who waits, tomorrow is another day.

Cliché.

Someday I may devise a pill.

To cure our ill.

Please God I will.

I have not given up hope.

I am taken for a dope.

Have I been given enough rope?

A child may skip, a child may swing.

Children know best, they do their thing.

To whom is given let him give.

Live and let live.

Tich Ennis

6th June, 2017

Hate In The World

Why is there so much hate in the world, what have you got to say?

I read something by Terry Pratchett on Quora today.

Here it is, he says evil comes from treating people as things.

Read it for yourself, his wisdom sings:

What is the source of evil?

Franklin Veaux, Small business owner, sexuality educator, writer

Answered Mar 21, 2016

A lot of people have thrown a lot of words on the source and nature of evil, and yet I have never seen anyone get down to the root of it quite as well as writer Terry Pratchett. There’s a passage from Carpe Jugulum that shows a grasp of the question better than that of any philosopher or religious scholar I’ve ever read:

“There is a very interesting debate raging at the moment about the nature of sin, for example,” said Oats.

“And what do they think? Against it, are they?” said Granny Weatherwax.

“It’s not as simple as that. It’s not a black and white issue. There are so many shades of gray.”

“Nope.”

“Pardon?”

“There’s no grays, only white that’s got grubby. I’m surprised you don’t know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That’s what sin is.”

“It’s a lot more complicated than that…”

“No. It ain’t. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they’re getting worried that they won’t like the truth. People as things, that’s where it starts.”

“Oh, I’m sure there are worse crimes…”

“But they starts with thinking about people as things.”

It has consistently and repeatedly been my experience and observation that, in countless circumstances, in countless ways great and small, the fundamental essence of evil is treating people as things.

Tich Ennis

2nd June, 2017