Category Archives: Humour

Oldie

In my declining years I said no to death and to Heaven said hello.

As John Wayne said when you gotta go you gotta go.

A man must do what a man must do, that’ll be the day.

Parents of teenage daughters get down on your knees and pray.

I spent my young years in thrall to the silver screen.

Then came Bill Haley, Elvis and James Dean.

Popcorn and ice cream.

Then came the words The End, the national anthem drives me round the bend.

All stand up and home we go.

Jukebox cure my woe.

Rock’n’roll and dancing and romancing.

I never said no.

Now at last life comes to an end.

I am remembered by a friend.

Glorious technicolour, wide screen.

Death of a human being.

I did not want to go, I fought against it to the last.

I have a wonderful past.

I remember you and you remember me.

The best is yet to be.

At last I’m free.

Tich Ennis

11th December, 2017

Dedicated to the memory of Michael O’Brien

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Big Fool

May I not let people down with a bump or otherwise.

I let myself down bigtime since I fell from the skies.

You may say by what airline did I fly when I fell from the sky?

The same as you, how do you do, I broke a heart or promise two.

Or maybe more, encore, encore, most of my life was a waste of time.

Ten years ago I took up rhyme.

There is no point in telling lies, I wish to regain the skies.

All aboard, we take off soon, this flight passes by the Moon.

Then back to Earth, let down again, when we have peace between men.

Fellow travellers, let it be, your pilot is a fool like me.

Bloody history leave behind out of sight and out of mind.

It is not easy but its true you and I know what to do.

I mean every word I say, what can I say?

Have a nice day. Better, make a good day, not nice.

Follow your own advice.

Trust your heart, you know what to do and how to be.

Don’t leave it all to me.

Why can’t we agree?

If we did less people would be dead.

That’s what I said.

Life means something when we want it to.

Its up to me and you.

Who goes first, best or worst?

At least I try before I die.

Wars happen, why?

Is my heart in the right place?

Be in a state of grace.

End disgrace, human race.

I am the clown who does not want to let you down.

A clown is for fun and laughter.

And happy ever after.

Peace and love are not just words, they are how to be.

I ask myself am I the biggest fool?

That’s me.

Tich Ennis

11th January, 2018

Book and CD’s

15th Decenber, 2017

Michael,

Here is the book you asked for, recently published, The 50 Francis Street Photographer, compiled by his grand daughter, Suzanne Behan, photographs of people and places mostly in the Liberties area of Dublin, mostly in the 50’s and 1960’s.   Black and white photographs and nice large text.

Today I got the 50 duplicated CD’s of my Great Irish Songs CD from CD Duplication, the company, costing 60 euros including courier delivery, ordered by me only a few day ago. One enclosed here, with the printing on the CD as specified by me, although not exactly laid out to my specification.   Pretty good all the same, I think.

Here also is my design work for the artwork on the CD on an A4 sheet of paper, compare with the layout on the CD itself, I prefer mine, but ok. My idea is to redesign the CD cover as on the A4 page here, complete with surrounding green square and with the existing Vale of Avoca picture on the inside of the front cover, if I can get around to it. This sort of thing requires time, thought and know how and a fair amount of experimentation. I’ll have a go, it would be an improvement.

Apart from the Great Irish Songs CD here also are the following titled CD’s:

  1. Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, a Book at Bedtime from BBC radio 4, ten fifteeen minute readings, a first novel by the author and very funny it is.
  2. Eternity 5 Views, BBC radio three talks, speakers of various religions.
  3. Pop and Reality, great series of short talks from the BBC.
  4. Epicureans, Stoics, Cynics, on Greek philosophies.
  5. Irish Singers Interviewed, three of Miriam O’Callaghan’s Sunday programs on RTE radio one, Shane McGowan and others interviewed.

Also here an article about Ireland’s Own magazine taken from the Sunday Times.   I just might advertise in that magazine if I ever have the funds. Fuddy duddies like my stuff, hopefully not only them, but a person has to start somewhere. Whats wrong with the past?

Best wishes and a happy Christmas, we will speak before that of course. Here comes the turkey!   David or whatever-you-call-him Tich Ennis

Fake News

Pope to canonise Paisley to make the unionists happy.

Bob Dylan said Abba are sappy.

Jerry Lee Lewis said I’m better than Elvis and I’m not dead.

Donald Trump says that’s not what I said.

Teresa May, the Virgin on the Rocks, says what she really thinks.

Arlene Foster stinks.

Tich Ennis

5th December, 2017

Converging Concepts

Maths, art, science, literature, philosophy, religion are converging to a single point.

A Russian scientist said that, whom the saints anoint.

Speaking for myself, I concur.

I who infrequently err.

Love is where you find it wherever that may be.

An old pop song or a cup of tea.

Did Adam and Eve do wrong or did they make a mistake?

The Reader’s Digest said that in my years of heartache.

I made mistakes in my time.

Who is without crime?

Everything should rhyme.

I do be and I does be talking rot.

That’s not all I’ve got.

Whoever is responsible, thanks a lot.

I think this poem is rather good but who am I to say?

Have it your way.

Perhaps the last two lines should be in parentheses or, as you might say, bracket.

If you have a bad child do you smack it?

Tich Ennis

4th December, 2017

Rude Words

Rude words are concerned with bodily functions and parts and God’s name, the things we’re not to meant to say, why not?

It’s more or less all we’ve got.

Under your clothes you are completely naked, nude.

Is that rude?

Rude means common, what’s wrong with that, so is air.

Thank God it’s not rare.

Its there.

So we live and also why.

Maybe you’ll get sense before you die.

Tich Ennis

27th November, 2017

Time

The effluxion of time is taking place even as I speak.

Before you know it it will be the middle of next week.

Seasons pass by one by one and days in two and threes.

Oh no, I got that wrong, forgive me please.

Watch the seconds ticking by on a digital clock.

Just how many have I left, don’t give me a shock.

There once was a beer called time about which someone made a rather rude joke.

If I repeated it here you’d say I should not have spoke.

P.S.

My brother thought I should add this.

Its rude, it mentions piss.

An ad agency ran a slogan competition for the beer called time, slogans not necessarily in rhyme.

Some guy said pissing is a waste of time, he sent that in.

No sin.

He got a fiver in the post, they enjoyed his slogan the most.

Need I say it was never printed.

If it was an archbishop might have squinted.

I never pissed the beer called time.

End of rude rhyme.

Tich Ennis

23rd November, 2017