Category Archives: Bloodstain

Save The World

If I wrote the perfect poem to save the world would you read it?

If I gave you a million pounds would you need it?

Would you thank me for it before you put it in the bank?

I don’t expect much of you, to be frank.

People everywhere breathe air.

Some wear masks, pollution doesn’t care.

Some say things are getting better, some say worse.

It’s a bit of both, here comes your hearse.

Who will save the world from us, from each other?

Are you leaving it to me and my brother?

Or another?

Tich Ennis

6th November, 2018

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Murder

I twist the knife, I take your life.

Someone said I should write a book with murder and violence in it.

Is this it, wait a minute.

The corpse beneath the stairs begins to smell.

Bloody Hell!

If that’s what you want read the news, listen and look.

That’s not my book.

Serial killing starts with one.

Make it up yourself, have fun.

You could produce a best seller.

Bring back Joseph Heller.

I thought of calling this Murder Story, but did not.

I could have, but I lost the plot.

How about The Dog That Did Not Bark?

That’s been done, or Murder in Noah’s Ark?

Something to read in the park.

After dark.

Tich Ennis

3rd November, 2018

Christ Talks

Passerby: Hi Christ. Someone said you are the son of God. What are you doing here?

Christ: I’m flogging bibles.

Passerby: They haven’t been written yet. Aren’t you being a bit premature?

Christ: A bit previous. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

Passerby: I’ll put my name down for one.

Christ: Sign here. A first edition is a good investment. You could flog it at Sotheby’s.

Passerby: If I’m around that long. Is it readable?

Christ: It took ten years to write and would probably take the same amount of time to read.

Passerby: That’s very funny.

Christ: Not if you wrote the book.

Passerby: It will give people something to swear on and at and throw at people, anyway.

Christ: A best seller.

Passerby: And I thought you were just a waste of space.

Christ: Wait for the Hollywood epic.

Passerby: You’ve seen the film, now read the book.

Christ: Dance to the musical.

Passerby: You are a man before your time.

Christ: A man out of time.

Passerby: Whatever that means.

Christ: Gutenberg, thou should’st be living at this hour.

Passerby: I’ll wait for the audio version.

Christ: That’s me. Born before TV.

Passerby: If you had an air to that you could sing it.

Christ: I’ll be on my way.

Passerby: Mine too.

Christ: It’s a rocky road.

Passerby: You can say that again.

Christ: And again and again and again.

Passerby: Where does this road lead?

Christ: Where indeed.

Passerby: You’re a bit of a poet.

Christ: Don’t I know it.

Passerby: Sayonara, Japanese for goodbye.

Christ: Au revoir, until we meet again.

(Both figures depart. The End.)

Tich Ennis

26th July, 2018

 

Nailed

Nail the Devil to a cross.

Is he any loss?

Do you give a toss?

Does rhetoric make you sick or do the trick?

Here comes the good guy in a white hat, that’s that.

Bad guys fall down, put on the thorny crown.

When you do I’ll follow you.

Should I be calm or give a damn?

Let’s not be cruel, let’s be kind screams the Devil as the nails go in, I’ve changed my mind.

Tough luck, too late, the biter bit.

How do you like it?

Don’t spit.

That’s it.

Or should we forget and forgive?

Live and let live?

What about you?

You too?

Tich Ennis

24th June, 2018

Abortion Test

19th May, 2018

Michael,

         Vote Yes in the abortion referendum if you plan to open an abortion clinic.   I once rang someone and asked did he wish he had been aborted? He asked did I ring him to ask him that. So he did not answer. He was not a politician, but might have been. I wanted to know where he stood.

         A man asks why do you always answer a question with another one? Answer: Do I?

         I told that to someone and he said he was a Kerryman.

         My brother and I plan on voting in opposite directions in the referendum, so our votes will cancel each other out. Our casting of votes will be abortive. I say I think the people will vote yes, we should have abortion here, not yes we should not. Unless people get mixed up.   You say you can’t be sure. You can be wise after the event.

         I have an ulterior motive in writing to you. I am writing in Word with the intention of copying and pasting into gmail because when I do it the other way around it comes out mixed up. Maybe it will work, maybe it wont.   I want to preserve my words for posteriority. Oops, posterity. I am running a few tests. This is not the real thing.

         Syllogism. Pedantry. Polemic. Onomatopeia. Homonym. Just a few words to cheer you up.

         So I have a hidden agenda after all.

         The operation was a success but the patient died. Maybe yes, maybe no. It’s a woman’s privilege to change her mind.   It seemed like a good idea at the time.

         Here goes nothing,

David

P.S.  It worked!

Tich Ennis

19th May, 2018

 

Left Right

If you go far enough left you come out on the right.

Good night.

Shut up and eat your bun.

We have a gun.

No fun.

Tich Ennis

13th April, 2018

Endgame

Have they thought about the endgame, those who play with fire?

We are in the war of words, will the flames rise higher?

After you have struck a blow, what happens next, do you know?

If you care, if you are sane, spare us all from fatal pain.

I don’t wish to be dramatic but let us not be fanatic.

When you know the future, let me know.

I know I don’t, this so-and-so.

Tich Ennis

11th April, 2018