Category Archives: Advertising

The Royal Family

The royal family are wonderful people, I demur.

They have their saving graces, I concur.

If the royal princes weren’t born where they are would they be on the dole?

Could an ignoramus play their role?

The queen has crown jewels, the Irish had until 1910.

Someone stole them then.

I was not around, don’t blame me.

Someone else dunnit, you see.

What price pageantry?

Tich Ennis

11th November, 2018

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My Sins

For my sins I smoke outside.

Some people never smoked and died.

When I die will I go to Hell?

Oh well.

You’d have no trouble getting a light there.

Heaven has fresh air.

The wind tries to blow out my lighter.

I look forward, things will be brighter.

I don’t believe in hypnotism, I want a certain cure.

I don’t smoke gangster cigarettes, I am too pure.

Choose your way of wasting money.

Freedom isn’t funny.

Well, not really.

Its touchy feely.

Now my trousers are falling down.

I am an unofficial clown.

Why do I smoke, to ease the pain.

Its subtly comforting, life has its strain.

Do as I say, not as I do.

My advice to you.

As Sherlock Holmes said, I haven’t got a clue.

My sins are scarlet, or maybe slightly pink.

I also drink.

Smoking costs me most.

I am the holy ghost.

Who burned the toast?

Why should I impose on you this infliction?

Its all to do with my addiction.

Tich Ennis

8th November, 2018

Farmer

Your man thinks he knows everything but could he catch a calf, can he make a haystack?

If he saw things through my eyes would he think he was so wise?

I know he has two degrees, I’m sick of hearing about it, he brings me to my knees.

There’s no fool like an educated fool said some man who should know.

I have a herd of cattle to sell, I bought them this morning.

I would not have come if I knew you were here, next time give me warning.

You could bore for Ireland with all your show off talk.

You don’t impress me though you try, oh brother take a walk.

It takes all sorts to make a world and some of them are nuts.

Mr. Eccentric shut your mouth with all your ands and buts.

I see you coming and I groan.

End of moan.

This poem is incomplete, not a complete demolition job.

I’ll leave that to God.

Go ahead, tell him a thing or two.

That’s just like you.

I know this poem does not rhyme in every line.

Next time.

Tich Ennis

30th October, 2018

Advertising

Am I advertising myself or God?

I am an ordinary bod.

Is ordinariness enough?

Have you enough of that stuff?

I speak in a silent voice.

Rejoice, read Joyce.

I know that second last line doesn’t mean much, I just thought it sounded well.

People who use the words just or well should go to Hell.

I mean in excuse, what’s the use?

God, speak for yourself your humble spokesman begs.

I will succeed when a cripple wins running without legs.

In other words never.

Miracles happen hardly ever.

Still I live in hope.

An unrepentant dope.

Shall I advertise the skies?

Blessed are they who don’t tell lies.

At last I shut up.

Enjoy your coffee from your cup.

I know this poem is not bad, not good, not quite.

Its morning now, I slept last night.

Tich Ennis

25th October, 2018

Coffee Shop

Am I the sole customer in the coffee shop?

Are bricks and mortar coming to a full stop?

Is mortality all its cracked up to be?

What about me?

Have I no one to talk to, no one with whom to converse?

It could be better, it could be worse.

Later I will go to the shopping centre, business is slow.

And to the cheap supermarket, then home I go.

The coffee shop is here, there are five.

Sometimes I wonder why am I alive.

What rhymes with strive?

Tich Ennis

17th October, 2018

Criticism

Criticism has a bad name.

For shame.

It can be constructive or destructive.

If you want praise ask your mother.

Failing that, your pet brother.

Some don’t want to hurt your feelings so they don’t say what they think.

They drive an honest man to drink.

If you want the truth ask a stranger.

You may expose yourself to danger.

Don’t ask someone in the same field, like a farmer.

Can you cure a self harmer?

Be your own critic, charity begins at home.

If you are your greatest fan leave me alone.

The truth is funny, among other things.

Not greatly favoured by kings.

Should I issue a clarifying statement?

Some music should be subject to noise abatement.

Why should I explain to those who don’t want to know?

I hesitate to say I told you so.

Tich Ennis

4th October, 2018

Bubble

God doesn’t believe in God, is that the trouble?

Did you go broke in the last bubble?

Some people say there is no Hell, how do they know?

Because the Devil told them so.

They believe in nothing they can’t see.

Is that like you and me?

A person who knows everything is God, of course.

A pantomime horse.

You meet them everywhere, common as air.

If you are God then I am snoring, because you’re boring.

Maybe it doesn’t suit you to believe.

Who’s fooling who, goodbye, I take my leave.

Tich Ennis

3rd October, 2018